+ I could have written a post about the drunk at In-N-Out who did a strip tease for my daughter. On top of the table amidst a packed house. My husband thought it was okay to stay and eat by such hooligans. I would have marched my familia out of the place after giving them all a piece of my mind. But I was getting the burgers and mistook the frat house chanting for a harmless game of "down the soda."
+ I tried to write about taking the kids to the pool the other day. I encountered a slew of beach babe moms, sunning their toned bods and fake body parts while ignoring their children. Apparently I didn't get the gym memo that normal moms (aka, white mini whales) weren't slated to arrive until one hour later. So I spent an hour tiptoeing my large white self around their lounge chairs while I watched my children frolic. I guess I played the dutiful mom because I had a hard time ignoring all of the large warning signs that stated there were no life guards on duty. That and there really isn't a reason for me to try to "tan," it would just end up adding a lobster red effect to my purply splotchy legs. I heart varicose veins.
+ I thought about posting about Little C's current obsession with potty training. He's just barely two! And I'm not ready for this. Just this morning he stripped on ran naked down the hall proudly exclaiming, "I tinkled! I tinkled!" He did. Only not in the toilet. It was on the carpet right in front of the kitchen. Nice. He completely missed the point when I explained it needed to be in the porcelain throne. He just kept pointing proudly to the soaked carpet saying, "yeah, tinkle .. tinkle." Maybe he's just tired of this:
Getting back to my old self is high on priority list, right next to my laundry. But that's not happening either. I'm considering emergency action because I'm even boring myself. I might just have to pull out some old Dave Barry material, settle down with a few Deep Thoughts and watch a marathon of The Office. That should spark something, right?
7 comments:
Oh Julia, what I don't think you realize is that you're funny sometimes even when you aren't trying to be. So don't worry too much about forcing it.
P.S. Love the plumber look w/ saggy diaper. Hilarious!
ok, I think you're hilarious, and all your posts make me smile (or they make me scared as in I'm not ready to be a mom that has to worry about all the moral stuff you're dealing with, I'm just now facing the "being polite" and not leaving kids out or being tough when you're left out).
i think you're totally hilarious and i wish i could have known of your hilarity a lot earlier.
We talked about this last night, but I think you're hilarious. Of course, I feel your pain ... I used to have command of a room, now, nothing.
If you ever want to fine-tune your funny bone, call me. You always make my days brighter when I talk to you.
P.S. "I heart varicose veins" ... how can you NOT think you're funny.
P.P.S. The word verifications I have to enter on your site keep getting longer and longer ... pretty soon they'll have me entering the entire alphabet twice through in random order ... insane.
I hate it when i don't feel like myself. I find when i'm stressed out, i'm no fun - that's why i make lists and schedule things. It makes me feel in control a little better.
Oh, and i feel your pain about the beach situation. I'm looking down the barrel of a week in hawaii, and with the current state of my gut, i don't think my suit fits me anymore. And i'm too scared to try it on... this is not going to be pretty. And i don't have a baby to blame it on. :)
Anyway, just remember how fabulous and creative and talented you are. Love, Sarah
Love the picture of Calvin. I think the interest in the toilet is a trick toddlers like to pull thinking you will have to potty train them and then you get all ready to do it and they laugh at you as you realize it is a phase not a real desire to potty train. Soooooooooooo not funny.
Love the commentary. You could seriously entertain me all day.
Oh, Deep Thoughts will do it for sure! I love those!
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