In my head I've posted several times in the last week. In reality: 0. Since I love reading updates myself (hint, hint, to all you out there), here are the posts written in my mind for the past week this week ...
I am not a patient person. Immediate gratification is my candy. And delayed satisfaction my sour medicine. This makes losing weight hard. As much as I hate the stomach flu, I would almost submit myself to its clutches just to see the scale down 8 lbs. and know that I am nearer to my goal weight.
For the past 2 weeks I've been eating roughly 1200 calories a day. Well, it hasn't been a straight two weeks. I do take the weekends off. 1) because I'm running 10+ miles on Saturday and running that far and long feels awful on just 1200 calories, probably because I burn that much in that time; and 2) because I need a reward for being good all week. Saturday and Sunday ... calories be damned.
On a friend's suggestion I added fiber into the equation. Have you ever eaten fiber on an empty stomach? Think SNL's "Colon Blow" skits. Not nice. Or pretty. Or desirable. So when DH told me I was lookin' good this week. I just grimaced and farted. That shut him right up.
I also cut out my twice weekly bread baking routine. Which means instead of 2 lbs. of butter consumed each week by yours truly. We're now, as a family, only going through 1 stick. Quite an improvement (to my buttery backside).
So here are the week's stats:
By my count, should have lost about 1.5 lbs. But with all the side effects from the fiber it was more like 3. After this weekend though (celebratory eating ensued) I think I even out around 1 lb. Lovely. This is yo-yoing at its best. Eight more weeks of this, and I should be ready for the cruise and a heart attack.
4 years ago
12 comments:
Jesse: "What's wrong with you?"
Me: "I'm hungry and I can't eat for another hour."
I would take the flu, too.
Hahaha! I love your posts!!! You look awesome, so I don't know what you're worried about. And if you can run 10+ miles, you are one fit lady! Chin up---you're doing better than most women out there!
I heard my husband bust out laughing, and came to see what he was laughing at - which was your post. Boys + farts = laughs :) He now regularly checks your blog, because I have told him I think you are one of the funniest people out there! Thanks for the laughs. That's awesome you are back to running. Any runs you have coming up?
I totally remember the "Colon Blow" skit! Hilarious! Try eating a Fiber One granola bar and then doing an endowment session at the temple. Actually, don't. I did that once and I lasted all of three seconds in the celestial room. The urge to break wind was too powerful and would not contribute to the spirit that should exist there. Awesome on the running, though!
I laughed out loud with this post. You are so funny! Especially the grimace and farting part. Wow, that was great....I mean it.
I love posts about farting. The word alone makes me laugh. Heck, farts make me laugh. Every time Caleb toots I laugh and now he laughs every time he or any of us toot. As for the fiber, you will get used to it and your body will regulate and the fart attacks will subside. As for 1,200 calories, I. Would. Die. Way to go. I always said if I could have self control when it comes to food I would be RIPPED. I've got the love of working out down, I just don't have the eat small amounts down. I love food too much...sigh.
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The race is on (against ourselves, that is). I think we're all trying in our own ways to prepare for hours at the poolside. I admire your stamina. Would that I had inherited that trait.
No One, I mean NO ONE can make me laugh out loud just by reading their blog. You are too funny and I love you. I think you are beautiful and if you can run 10 miles then you are my hero. I can't do that!!
Perfect description of how i feel on a diet. Perfect. And I'm totally impressed by you cutting out your bread baking routine - it's addictive and hard to stop. So is farting.
oh don't eat the fiber one bars!!!! they are actually pretty good but they don't do good things to your insides. yikes!
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