I've got questions. Here are just a few. Do you have answers?
• How do you keep a white kitchen clean? Specifically, white grout, white stove and a white microwave?
• Have politicians always been fakers? I mean the big fat fakie fake bottoms that lie anytime they need to?
• Am I a fake if I plant flowers around my house a day before I host a dinner party, as if I am a master gardener in zen with spring?
• Is plastic surgery wrong if you are just "restoring parts to their original condition?"
• Will I ever find the perfect mule/mary jane combination in brown leather?
• Why were white surfaces ever allowed in the kitchen?
• Have you seen Dan in Real Life yet?
I am but a simple minded creature. Please enlighten me.
8 comments:
You are hilarious.
One: white grout: Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. If that doesn't work, soft scrub with bleach, a denture toothbrush, and about two hours of utter pain.
2. Yes. And don't you hate these namby-pamby wives "standing by" their cheating men? I want to hit them over the head.
3. Do it, and post pictures. We all do that. Except yours will not die.
4. Do it, but no pictures. Just celebrate your original condition. :-)
Miss you.
-J
1. counters/grout: comet (the stuff in the can), fantastik for stove and microwave. if all else fails i use baking soda and elbow grease.
2. pretty much, yeah.
3. absolutely not.
4. i hope not, because i fully intend on restoring whatever i can.
5. why are brown shoes so hard to find? i have the same dilema.
6. i ask myself the same question every night.
7. nope
I'm only answering a few (the ones I remember ... too lazy to open a second page).
1) I'm going with Jaimee on the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. Have you ever used that thing? Two words for you: AMAZ-ing. I used it in my St. George kitchen and ended up going all over the house with it. It IS magic. I think I even made marks just so I could erase them ...
3. As for the garden: DO IT. I did it when we sold our Texas home.
?) And the plastic surgery: no. It doesn't count. It better not ... after having a baby, I'd be mighty mad at the cosmos if it wasn't a possibility.
Oh, you are askin' the Big Questions. Deep Thoughts.
1. I agree w/ Jaimee. She sounds like a cleaning guru. Jaimee, will you come to my house? And clean it?
2. I think so. All except Abe Lincoln. And John Adams. John Adams was the real thing.
3. Only if you do this and ALSO are a politician.
4. Plastic surgery is never wrong! Is it? Please say no. Because I want boobies.
5. I wish you luck. I haven't found shoes I like since college.
6. My absoLUTE favorite movie of the year!
I read your comments and went to Target today with the specific purpose of buying the Magic thingy and Soft Scrub, and completely forgot. I bought 2 great shirts both for $5 though. I will have to go again and NOT go in the clothing.
Jaimee, queen of white, I knew you would have the answer!
Carrie, you and are of one mind, obviously!
Crystal, you made me belly laugh (which needs a little nip tuck ... so it shook my whole body). I want boobies too! After begin raided by 3 hungry wolves, I deserve a little something!
You all crack me up! I love the magic eraser for all kinds of stuff. But I'd have to go with Carrie on the kitchen stuff - mostly because I know she's a bit of a germaphobe - so if it's good enough for her, it'll do great for me! Seriously though - I have had good luck with pure baking soda (make a paste), but it kinda leaves a film on everything and is hard to then clean the cleaning agent. Seems a bit backwards I know.
Flowers - whatever makes you happy. No one really cares if they've only been there for 24 hours.
As for the plastic surgery - I say, if God is going to restore us back to our perfect state - what's wrong with helping him get started? I'm all for a little restoration work - after all I'm worth more than a car and you'd do the same for her right!
I don't have answers for all of your questions, but I laughed at one in particular.... My grandmother has actually planted fake flowers in her front yard. Tacky? Maybe, but they fooled me! They looked so good I didn't realize they were fake until she said something... It may not be the best answer, but something to think about!
And the white kitchen questions... My first house had white appliance, and I learned my lesson. Now we have black! But to be honest I don't know what's worse because my black has a glossy finish which shows ALL fingerprints. I think the individual who thought white would be good in the kitchen must have been childless. There's no other answer.
I always thought that plastic surgery was bad until I finished nursing #1. Man...I hung down like a grandma. As my hubby says, "it could be a good thing to have a little lift".
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