On a daily basis I lose my keys. My children are so used to the routine. Mom tells them to get to the car. They pile in and I go in and out of the house looking for the keys. Looking. Looking for something. Even Little C knows that I rarely pull out of the garage unless I've trekked back and forth looking. This morning, when I told him to get his buns in his seat, he looked at me and said, "Go get your iPod." Heaven must tire of my morning prayer, "Please help my find my keys ... again."
Sometimes I lose other things. Like my patience. Usually at my kids. And then I lose my self respect. Somedays, when I get overwhelmed with the constant drum of the beat of motherhood, I lose myself. And wonder, what is it I like to do? When will I get to do it again? Wait, what's my name?
I constantly lose track of time. Which means that a whole day can go by without me remembering to do something important. Like calling an old friend. Or paying the bills. Or getting dressed before 1 p.m.
Yesterday, I was a loser all day long. It was quite discouraging. There was a particular present I had been saving for Miss A for almost a year. It had been in one spot for several months when I got the bright idea to put it in a place I wouldn't forget. Now, we all know those are the places we're most likely to forget the moment when place said object in them. So I spent the better part of my morning searching for the watch. It was lost, and won't be found (at least until we move in 11 months). But the searching made me crazy and more of a loser. I couldn't find the fabric for the skirt I had planned to make her, I couldn't find my book I was reading, I couldn't find the wrapping paper, and worst of all, I felt like I couldn't find the time to make the day as special as it should have been.
Today I will try to rise above it all, putting yesterday in the past and be a non-loser. First on my list, find some leftover Frog Eye Salad and a quiet corner to enjoy it in.
(Bonus points to those of you who know who sang "Loser".)
8 comments:
How ironic that you posted this...I was just crying over losing our Wii Fit game. Same story as you- I am a loser (baby)- and it was Beck who sang the song...I still remember Jen telling us that her friend had that on her birthday cake one year- I'm a loser baby (!?!); not my first choice of words on a cake. Maybe you should make yourself a cake and write that on it and then eat it all away.
Anyway, just want to let you know that you are in no way alone. On my list to find IMMEDIATELY- my new debit card (in the envelope, unactivated but my old one expires in a few days), the Wii Fit game (that my mom searched for months to find but I misplaced it while hiding it from Drew because he insists on sleeping with it) and a button bracelet for our Super Saturday activity that I need to use as a sample on this Sunday and can't get a replacement (J steals all stringy things; I blame him for this one).
We can be losers together. Now I don't feel like such a loser! :)
Beck! I love Beck. My kids think it's great when I lose things (which is a daily occurance) because they get to search the whole house. It's like a treasure hunt.
I hate losing things. It makes me feel crazy. Because I KNOW the lost thing has to be in one of a few places. There's just no way I'd put it anywhere else. But, in the end, I search the whole house and still can rarely find what it is I'm looking for (apparently my mind). There must be house elves who steal things. Then months later I see the thing I was looking for and it stumps me as I wonder "was this lost? Was I looking for this? Because it's exactly where I knew it was." All thoughts of a crazy woman.
Also a Beck fan! Saw him as part of a Tibetan Freedom Concert in SF years back. He was solo, but still awesome and uber talented.
I'm not sure I can join in the loser party, however. I'm often going back and forth to the car. But it's usually just to get stuff - of which I can actually locate. This is not to say that I've never been a loser. I am on occasion. However, the most frequent things we look for in our house are shoes. But not mine - you know, the kiddie's. My sister, on the other hand is a loser to her core. Not sure you can ever change that.
I have known some losers in my life and you my dear are most definitely not even close to being one.
Julia, I really enjoy your posts! I too am I loser. I lose everything and, like Rachel, I HATE it! Mainly because I am a little anal about stuff like that. Your children are adorable. I blog too (but we keep it private because of the hubby's job) and would live to send you an invite...just send me your email address to nickandashleycrown@yahoo.com
Ashley (Price) Crown
Beck! Love that song.
Give yourself a break. You're pregnant.
Ha Ha!! You are taking me back to our roommate days!!!
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